A free day as a free man in America!!!

Milo Nickels
Activist Post

I woke up today and, as I do every morning, I paused to reflect about how great it was to be a completely free man living in the United States of America — the last bastion for true individual liberty in the world.  It’s a wondrous and exhilarating feeling to know that I am a sovereign, completely independent, individual.  No man, woman, child, or government can interfere with my unalienable rights of life, liberty, or my pursuit of happiness.  I’m almost overwhelmed that I can do ANYTHING I WANT (as long as I don’t screw with anyone else’s rights).

So I roll over and I give my wife a good morning kiss on the cheek.  I married her several years ago after I paid the state for a marriage license and had a state representative preside over the ceremony to make it “legal”.  It’s wonderful that I can choose to spend my life with whomever I want.  (I’m just glad I’m not gay.  Poor bastards.)

My first stop of the day is the bathroom, as it is every day.  I brush my teeth with government-regulated fluoridated water and my FDA-approved toothpaste.  Then I take a whiz into my government-regulated low-flow toilet.  I also decided to shave my face with my electric razor.  It’s a little frustrating how high energy costs have gotten, and how much of that money goes to taxes, but at least I’m free to shave my face — unlike those other schmucks in those not-free countries.

I didn’t have much planned today — just had to run a few errands and mow my yard.  So I had a quick breakfast (all FDA approved, just like my toothpaste), headed out the door, jumped into my car, and off I went.  As I drove around town I was subjected to dozens upon dozens of traffic laws — any of which could result in me being fined, imprisoned, having my government-issued permission to drive revoked, or (at the very least) have my day interrupted by a public servant.  As I was driving from errand to errand, I was closely monitoring my gas mileage because fuel costs (and the fuel-taxes we pay to the government) are out of control.

No worries, though, I can forget how intrusive the government really is by just turning on some music and jamming out . . . as long as I don’t do it too loud (I don’t want to be in violation of the city noise ordinance).

The music really did the trick.  I was driving around, not a care in the world, living as a completely free man!!!  I just wish I could hear some songs on the radio that haven’t been censored by the FCC.

After I finish all my errands (which all involve paying sales tax to the government from the money I already paid income tax on) I return to my house to mow the lawn.

My lawn — you know, the one I pay property taxes for so the government won’t take it away — doesn’t really need to be mowed quite yet.  But I decided to mow it today anyhow, because they are forecasting rain for the next few days.  I just don’t want to risk having my lawn get too long.  If it does, I’ll be in violation of the city ordinance and have to pay a fine to the government.

So . . . after I finish the lawn, the rest of the day is pretty uneventful.  I eat another FDA-approved meal, watch some FCC-regulated TV with my state-licensed wife and my two tax-dependents (children), and then we will all go to bed again . . . .

I’m not sure what time I’m going to go to bed, though.  After all, I am a free man and I can make that choice for myself!!!

Milo Nickels began blogging and cartooning about politics in the year 2000.  After achieving some notoriety at that time, Milo took a break.  Now, Milo has launched a new website, Five Cent Revolution where he continues to write about political issues.  In particular, Milo focuses on constitutionalism, critiques of modern liberalism and progressivism, and defends individual liberty above all else.  Milo wants the government out of our wallets, out of our business, and out of our lives to the greatest extent possible.