Monsanto's New Slogan: Our Corn Won't Give You Cancer!

Keith Kloor, writing at Slate, jumped in to try to stop the tidal wave of negative publicity about Monsanto set off by major study in France by Dr. Gilles-Eric Seralini, proving Monsanto’s corn causes cancers and rapid death. But Kloor made things 1000 times worse.

In his article, “GMO Opponents Are the Climate Skeptics of the Left,” Kloor goes through all kinds of breathtaking, logic-defying contortions to try to convince the left, somehow, that GMO-opponents aren’t . . . themselves.

Doesn’t he know the whole left detests Monsanto and what they are doing to corrupt food and democracies around the world, and there is no division about it? While he made a stab at creating a internecine battle between left and left, it was a hopeless (albeit perhaps very well-paid) task.

And the reality is there is not only unity between lefties about Monsanto. The entire left abhors Monsanto. But the right does, too, including climate skeptics. Also the middle detests them. Also, non-political people. Also anarchists. Also militias. Also sewing circles. Even family pets can’t stand them. Monsanto has been a gift to everyone in that way, bringing the whole country together as one big ticked off family.

Kloor failed in his impossible effort to divide the undividable. But he came up a winner with his subtitle, which gives Monsanto a fabulous food slogan.

Don’t worry. Genetically modified corn isn’t going to give you cancer.

Kloor may not be very savvy politically but he is a PR whiz. “Monsanto’s GM-corn doesn’t cause cancer!” is even catchier than “pink slime,” which has caught hold like glue with the public.

It’s a great slogan and Monsanto could even put the images of the rats in Seralini’s study on packages containing their GM-corn and say “See, no cancer!”

Or maybe Monsanto might prefer a more general slogan “Buy our food, it won’t kill you!” and apply it to all their products. Then they could use the rats’ photos and to proclaim, “See, they’re not dead!”

People would be rushing out for Monsanto’s GM-corn, GM-soy, GM-canola, GM-sugar, GM-high-fructose-GM-corn-syrup, GM-papaya, GM-crook-neck squash, GM-Nutrasweet, GM-Equal, etc.

In his article, Kloor tore into Professor Seralini, but didn’t bother to mention that Professor Seralini had already had to go to court to stop defamation, and he won. That being the case, Kloor might like to go after other scientists who are also saying there are dire consequences to GMOs.

The latest warnings are about GM-wheat which is proving itself as much of a winner as GM-corn. Parents who eat GM-wheat could have children who die from it by the age of five. Perhaps Kloor’s slogan for GM wheat could be “GM-wheat doesn’t kill your children!”

But that’s jumping ahead. One catchy phrase at a time.

Thanks to Keith Kloor, left and right have been brought together; and Monsanto now has an unforgettable advertising slogan.

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