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The nagging feeling deep in my mind just wouldn’t let me alone. My self consciousness caused me to believe I was different and would never correctly fit in this world no matter how I try. It wasn’t a challenge for me to fit with in a social group or even to get along with my family but I never felt a part of the outside world. I did my best to go along.

School was easy and when I was legally able, I left. My jobs came and went as did my girlfriends all while the chatter in my mind was relentless. I attributed my haphazard ways to the inability of just going with the flow and being normal. I told myself to just go buy things like the others did and follow sports and television. If I did that, they wouldn’t notice I was different while secretly hoping the distraction would quite the constant buzz that said, “This world is wrong.”

I met a new girl, bought a house and settled in to the regular life. I spent my time learning her interests, socializing in the right places where people spoke of the latest book or movie but all the while feeling generally ill at ease. Something had to give and it did.

Once we split I grabbed onto anything I could to cause my mind to assimilate. GQ, Sports Illustrated and People were of no help so I made the decision to find out why I felt this world was wrong. I read all the history I could find which was no help. Luckily I stumbled on the works of Carlos Castaneda. His words felt revolutionary and now I had a way to prove to myself I was not wrong, it was our world.

I blamed god, since I was raised that way, then the devil and finally I blamed my Karma for understanding something no one around me would even consider or talk about. I did my best to share my learning but didn’t have the words to correctly convey what had happened to our world. Or maybe they didn’t want to understand.

So I was stranded on an Island of my own understanding with no escape. The Millennium had just passed with out incident and I was left with the feeling of a man with nothing to do and no where to go. Most of what they told me was just another fiction, which I now could see clearly but so what, no one would listen and I couldn’t change a damn thing. When the towers fell, my gut told me not to worry since it wasn’t real anyway. Yes the buildings really fell but I knew the reason they gave just wasn’t true. Arrrrrg!

Don Miguel Ruiz’s books opened my eyes to another way of dealing with my quandary which gave some relief. My world was stabilizing and the colors began to show their brilliance I remembered from my early childhood and life moved forward. I felt happy again.

Move forward five years with a better computer and a little more wisdom. Searches for “Obama Felon” and “False Obama” led me to the oddest blog run by a man in The UK. I was searching those terms because again, my gut pointed me in that direction. As I checked out the blog I found a talk by a man I’d never seen. The video was titled, “Big Brother, The Big Picture” and it was amazing to me. This humorous and interesting man was talking about things I never knew but leveled an answer to my thinking that my mind could not deny. Forgive the dramatic license taken, but a door was opened to a world of truth I had been seeking for nearly 20 years. And the nagging stopped. My mind was quiet and the peace that filled me matched the happiness I was growing into.

My research mind kicked into high gear. I spent countless hours checking his information while discovering others that knew the truth. Max Igan, Dr. Ron Paul, Alex Jones and Gerald Celente became as common to my speech as American Idol and The NFL was for regular people. My daily reading included DavidIcke.com, Adask’s Law and of course Activist Post. I shared the info without the expectation of revealing anything but the truth. If they understood or agreed was of no matter to me. Some of my least ‘spiritual’ friends have taken the ride with me and have a better understanding of the world in which we live.

I’ve been called odd, a conspiracy theorist, and even even dangerous but I do not care. It’s been a great adventure since my ears heard David Icke speak and I am thankful for the chance to see him at Wembley.

This submission has been entered into a contest to win 2 premium tickets + $500 for travel to see David Icke at Wembley Arena, London — October 27, 2012. If you like this article, please share it far and wide, as the winner will be determined by the total number of pageviews acquired before the end of the contest on June 15th. For additional details about submissions, please visit our Contest Page.