The Protocols of the Learned Elders of OPEC

So, you thought the economic crisis we are currently experiencing was caused by loose monetary policy, loose economic regulation, or just plain loose morals by the likes of Goldman Sachs and associated plutocrats?

Wrong!

It was really all part of a nefarious plot by Ay-rab terrorists – and now we’re heading for “phase three”! The Washington Times (who else?) “reports”:

“Evidence outlined in a Pentagon contractor report suggests that financial subversion carried out by unknown parties, such as terrorists or hostile nations, contributed to the 2008 economic crash by covertly using vulnerabilities in the U.S. financial system.

“The unclassified 2009 report “Economic Warfare: Risks and Responses” by financial analyst Kevin D. Freeman, a copy of which was obtained by The Washington Times, states that ‘a three-phased attack was planned and is in the process against the United States economy.’

“While economic analysts and a final report from the federal government’s Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission blame the crash on such economic factors as high-risk mortgage lending practices and poor federal regulation and supervision, the Pentagon contractor adds a new element: ‘outside forces,’ a factor the commission did not examine.

“’There is sufficient justification to question whether outside forces triggered, capitalized upon or magnified the economic difficulties of 2008,’ the report says, explaining that those domestic economic factors would have caused a ‘normal downturn’ but not the ‘near collapse’ of the global economic system that took place.”

Yikes!

Well, this sounds plausible enough: after all, there’s no reason why we can’t keep spending money we don’t have – any suggestion to the contrary is unpatriotic and probably motivated by support for terrorism.

The housing bubble, no-money-down loans, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac holding multi-billions in bad loans and other “toxic assets”? That’s not profligacy – it’s the Amurrican Dream, boy! And to suggest otherwise is … hey, what are you, some kind of Communist?

According to this report, paid for by the Pentagon and “declassified” so that Washington Times “national security expert” Bill Gertz could hyperventilate over it, the uptick in oil prices is also part of an Ay-rab plot. The Pentagon “study,” authored by one Kevin D. Freeman, cites neocon nutball Walid Phares, a Christian Falangist of Lebanese extraction and paid propagandist for the Israeli-connected Foundation for the Defense of Democracies, who avers:

“According to Political Economy assessment [sic], there may have been a third player in the crisis: OPEC, or more precisely, radical circles within Oil Producing regimes in the Peninsula. The thesis argue that combined Salafist-Wahhabi and Muslim Brotherhood circles in the Gulf -with consent from the Iranian side on this particular issue, used the escalating pricing of Oil over the past year to push the financial crisis in the US over the cliff.”

Aha! The long arm of the Muslim Brotherhood strikes again! Boy oh boy, the Brothers sure have been busy lately: first we find out they were really behind the Egyptian revolution and the overthrow of US-supported dictator Hosni Mubarak. Then we detect their nefarious influence in all the other revolts taking place across the Middle East. And now this! I also have my suspicions about their involvement in the spate of cold weather we’ve been having here in the US, but that will have to await confirmation until Freeman consults the proper omens. Meanwhile, “Dr.” Phares continues on in the same deranged vein:

“OPEC‘s manipulation of the markets did hit Americans hard in their pockets. Hundreds of millions of John and Jane Does were intimidated, terrorized really,into abandoning their lifelong dreams of owning properties because of the aggressive stance of petro-regimes towards the US and its campaign to spread democracy in the Greater Middle East. In historical terms, America was punished for daring to change the status quo in the Arab and Muslim world to the advantage of the weakest and the suppressed.”

The market? The dwindling oil supply? Increased demand, especially by the Chinese? You fool! Forget supply and demand! These are just the curtain behind which lurks … the “jihadi-oil lobby” (JOL)!

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