The Adventures of Gullible Gringo: How Government Love Extends Beyond the Border

Number Six
Activist Post

As a dual citizen, I answer to more than one government, not including the third I may be living under at a given time. You may also include the fourth “international” government whose norms may also apply. After all, NATO troops are stationed thirty minutes from my grandparent’s rural village in one of the countries of my citizenship.

One of the governments I am a citizen of leaves me completely alone; I have not heard from nor been solicited by this entity in any way. Ever. Nor have I desired any one thing from this entity.

The other government (you can guess which) does not leave me alone.

I unwittingly took part in an experiment once.

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Living abroad and making less than the poverty line, I had not bothered to “file” an IRS income tax return. Some time later, my stateside “home” address had received a $600 fine for not bothering to submit a list of my (financial) possessions.

Slavery is defined as a “relationship whereby one person [or entity] has absolute power over another and controls his life, liberty and fortune.”

Had this fine not been paid, it would have exponentially grown in stature and eventually taken away the possessions of those related to me and perhaps subjected me to imprisonment. All for not answering to my masters in Washington. This is, by definition, slavery.

A family member had once applied to work in the Foreign Service. They had passed two of the three examinations with flying colors. At one point, abruptly, they were informed of their further ineligibility. Apparently, “they and/or members of their family were considered disloyal citizens of the United States.”

Thank you very much. I suppose critical thought is crime. I guess it was suspicious being a student at a university where I brushed elbows with and was taught by professionals such as this guy who served as a defense lawyer for Saddam Hussein. Yes, that same Saddam, who by the way, was a very good old friend of Uncle Sam’s!

I don’t know, perhaps they used their “Total Information Awareness” applications to run through the telecommunications of my family members.

Am I “disloyal” enough at least to discontinue filing a list of my financial possessions? 

STEP: The “Smart” Way to Travel

Life abroad proved very enjoyable. The US State Department overseas has never really been of much use to me. The last time I visited them, I had to pay some guy across the street $5 to watch my mp3 player and cellular phone, as they were not allowed in the consulate (for fear that I may be working for one of the US Government’s “independent” agencies).

I am grateful for their concern of my well-being. For example, they send me travel warnings when a hurricane is about to hit.

I especially enjoy their fear mongering terror alerts. They frequently notify me of when one of their “independent” agencies might stage an attack.

Earlier in October, they warned that Anwar al-Awlaki (CIA) had been murdered on a third or fourth occasion. I guess Universal Soldier was not just a movie after all!

I’m sure they were sad to see him go; due to their busy schedules they probably hadn’t seen each other since that luncheon at the Pentagon after 9/11 where they must have discussed the great success of their Project for a New American Century.

Anyhow, they tried to scare me by telling me Anwar the Universal Soldier might come back again and get me. They said I should enroll in their new Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP). Even the acronyms of their programs are so cute and endearing; it shows how thoughtful they are of us chattel who have left the “homeland”.

The program would make it easier for that yet fifth international government to locate me if they ever needed to. You know, Number One, the guys who run the control center. Gosh, if ever I “forget” to send my list of financial possessions to one of their “independent” agencies!

I suppose it’s easier for them to contract the work out to private companies like the Federal Reserve and the IRS, the latter not having any real authority sans the kind wielded by anyone in possession of a firearm. Blackwater Xe has gone to build on that successful model.

Not that I really worry at all, they can pretty much locate any friend of theirs anywhere in the world these days.

Back in September, they were kind enough to warn me that drug dealers might want to rob, beat and/or torture me using weapons purchased from the US Government. Though they never explicitly mentioned, I assume there also might be the danger that these guys would probably be high off the US Government drugs run out of Afghanistan or from the stash that goes to the CIA/DEA/DOJ/FBI allocation for distribution within the fifty states.

I guess they are right, one never knows when “blowback” can occur. Is having American soldiers patrolling Afghan streets the same as Chinese soldiers patrolling American streets?

WARNING: Graphic Video of US Soldier Patrolling Afghan Streets

However, the US State Department outdid themselves today. They sent me a scary warning based on a story written by one of their desk officers for a short fiction contest.

Something about a used car salesman paying $1 million to a US agent posing as a Méxican Zeta drug dealer to assassinate a Saudi-US ambassador in Washington. This despite the fact that the Zeta drug cartel brings in $40 billion annually and would never risk their lucrative relationship with the CIA/DOJ/DEA/FBI for a measly $1 million. Or that Iran would never risk World War III by assassinating a completely irrelevant ambassador. Perhaps that US State Department desk officer is smoking some of that CIA-Zeta stuff?

What does Pepe say?

I guess signing up for the “Smart” travel program is the smart thing to do. After all, we will be living together on the SMART Grid in less than ten years!

I’ve also heard of some unpatriotic citizens waiting in long lines to annul their Federal Reserve contracts, I mean, citizenship.

What do you think?

Signed,
Gullible Gringo